Today I got a booking for the vacation rental I manage and a volunteer contacted me, things were looking up.

My life expectancy just increased by a few weeks.

Planned on not having to stress over litigation right now and to learn the new document library software so I can organize as I analyze hundreds of pages of records from Southwest and KRMC.

Then I got the order denying my motion to stay the litigation until 9/30 and my response to the motion to compel my expert disclosures is due next Wednesday.  The stress continues ….  Suicide by litigation.  [Can I say that without being titled?]

And, speaking of stress, as I was reading up on experts, the phone rang.  Crisis Line and deputy Gunnoe were at my gate.  I talked to him for an hour yesterday, WTF!!!

You don’t know what PTSD is until you got it.

It’s been two years since nurse Sarah Grohmann swatted me and deputies showed up at my door after taking my locked gate off the hinges.

For half a year I had been researching and taking supplements and my brain had very slowly but improved, and the gains were wiped out.

So today I panicked.   They wanted to come in my house and I knew exactly what would happen.

I will never forget how these men at KRMC held me down and injected me with drugs.  I felt so violated.  That’s what it feels like when you’re gang-raped.  And I’d rather be gang-raped than abused by those thugs again because at least you can go home afterward.

I’m not delusional.  I lived through it and I have 6 hours of audio to prove what really happened to me on 1/29/20 at KRMC.

So this was NOT going to happen today!

I ran.  Out into the desert. I took nothing, not even my dog. They were not going to get me.

For 15 minutes I was on the phone with some lying bitch.

  No compassion.  No empathy. No intellect. Sadistic.

The definition of psychopaths.

Like Hitler’s henchmen, they follow orders.

Are they too dumb to read what I wrote here?  Too lazy?

Brainwashed?  Or really THAT stupid?

Today I wrote to Care 1st:

Whether it’s a heart attack, stroke, accident, …. you did your part to make it happen. I’m glad I woke up today, but you definitely shortened my life expectancy. Even if the stress you maliciously inflicted doesn’t kill me, I certainly will be running out of money to live on much sooner and will therefore have to kill myself sooner.

You maliciously inflicted so much emotional distress.

And that’s why they threatened to title me again.  

The terror, I cannot even describe how I felt as I was heading out into the desert. Pure panic.  Planning what to pack up to LEAVE my home for a few weeks.  Terror.

Twice I lost Andy, my old mostly blind and deaf dog who somehow got out of the house and found me.  It was pitch dark when I got back home, my arms and legs bleeding from running into bushes.

I was out of water for the garden, had to haul water.  Then found that several of the figs I had started from cuttings in spring had died.  Can’t wait to see tomorrow what all died.  I must have forgotten to water them yesterday, with all that stress and an hour on the phone with deputy Gunnoe.

He seemed like a nice guy, just like Dr. Adam Dawson at KRMC on 1/29/20.  Liars. Stab you in the back.

I’d love to go camping to get away from the constant stress and feel safe again, I’d like NOTHING more.  Haven’t even had half a day off since March.

But if I don’t water every day, everything will die except for the fruit trees.  They’ll probably live for a week or maybe even two.   It’s so hot.

The peach tree is loaded, got a lot of spaghetti squash, so many tasty little cherry tomatoes, should get loads of tomatillos, nobody harvests the huckleberries (I sure don’t have time), just saw the first female flowers on the zucchini and the figs are growing more fruit.

You can’t imagine the BS that Crisis Line women told me, the lies, …

But, she also inspired me.

She said that Elliot doesn’t need help because he CHOOSES to live in the desert.

Tada!

CHANGE OF PLAN!

To the next asshole wasting my time, stressing me, defrauding me:

Whether it’s a heart attack, stroke, accident, …. you did your part to make it happen.

I’m glad I woke up today, but you definitely shortened my life expectancy. Even if the stress you maliciously inflicted doesn’t kill me, I certainly will be running out of money to live on much sooner and then I will have to live in the desert like Elliot.

8/10/22 6 pm: Elliot south of MM 15 on the east side of Stockton Hill Rd.

8/10/22 6 pm: Elliot south of MM 15 on the east side of Stockton Hill Rd.

I just changed the name of the new category to feature the people and companies who lie, defraud and steal to “Contributors to my early demise.”

And I considered how I would eventually die in the desert and I realized that maybe it’s not that bad for Elliot.  It’s all a matter of getting used to that lifestyle.

The heat in the summer will help a lot with getting used to it.   I was dizzy after just an hour in 107 degrees waiting for Crisis Line at Elliot’s.   And then the bastards stood me up.  Obviously, they’ll be featured in this category, almost got me killed.

So I imagine it won’t take too long when you live in the desert until you get delirious.  Hopefully don’t feel pain.

In winter … it’s cold.

When I was a teenager I was skiing with my dad and I was not a good skier.  It was afternoon, I was getting tired, fell a lot and when we got to the lift it was shut down for the day.  My dad’s friends knew we were up there, but they wouldn’t turn the lift back on.

We had to get off the mountain through woods and about 3 ft of snow.  My dad carried my skies, but I got so tired.  Started falling behind and finally sat down in the snow, leaned against a tree and closed my eyes.

What a peaceful death that would have been.   My dad did whatever it took to get me walking again and I lived.

I haven’t thought about that incident in so many years.

So many homeless freeze to death.  I guess it’s not a bad way to die. 

Beats having cancer, pain, …

Being cold sucks. I hate being cold. I’ll have to walk and walk and walk until I’m so exhausted I just go to sleep.

Thanks to my civil rights and as long as I don’t commit a crime, I can decide “live” in the desert like Elliot to enjoy a no doubt very pleasant and long life.

I could sit at Stockton Hill Rd like Elliot with a sign:

“I’m fine.
Keep moving …”

I could get a banner with a link to this website.

There is much to consider when you plan to join the homeless to “live” in the desert.  Much better than killing yourself, which would have NO impact whatsoever.

The idea of sitting there with a banner sounds really good to me.  Like Cindy Sheehan in Texas, but just me.

“Keep moving.  I have civil rights.  I have not committed a crime. I have the right to sit here.”

I can’t do anything until after my dog died.   But why wait until I’m out of money?

Why bother to sell my house, it’s so much work to get it ready for sale.   I could skip selling the house and living in a van.  Enjoy the good life in the desert.

But, I could also sell the house quickly, cheap, and use the money to pay for expert witnesses.   I’d have to live in a vehicle until the litigation is done before I could live in the desert like Elliot.

We’ll see what happens.


9/2/22 Update:

The god damned deputies came to my door this morning.  Didn’t get to sleep till almost 5 am and had stressful dreams.  Needed another PTSD episode like a hole in the head.

I didn’t let them into my house and told them that I changed my mind, will be living in the desert like Elliot.  Which is fine with them.

If it wasn’t for my dog, the lawsuits and my ongoing efforts to help Elliot … Living in the desert sounds really good to me right now.  No more stress.  No decisions to make.

Simply being.

Which is what most old people do.  Rotting in front of a TV.  I prefer the desert and nature.

Being able to make a public statement with a link to this website when I live by a road is the icing on the cake. I should also have fliers to hand to people who will no doubt stop like the stopped for Elliot. We have so many ruthless psychopath in Mohave County, but we still have some good people too.

If there only was a single organization to actually DO something for the homeless, I could raise funds for them. Start in spring, after it freezes and before it gets too hot. There’s much to think about.

I’m so excited about my future life in the desert, maybe I’ll do a test run in winter when I don’t have to water so much and I could take my dog.

I am so relieved that I finally have a good plan, approved by the government.


People experiencing homelessness are generally sicker than their housed counterparts and more prone to death.
https://www.hchmd.org/homelessness-makes-you-sick

They are:
3-4x more likely to die prematurely
2x as likely to have a heart attack or stroke
3x more likely to die of heart disease if they are between 25 and 44 years old

Life on the street is brutal. The lack of secure and stable shelter, food, income, hygiene and physical and behavioral health care makes it nearly impossible to be healthy.

The life expectancy of a person experiencing homelessness is just 48 years.

Being very sick can make you homeless.

At least 25% of people experiencing homelessness have a serious mental illness, such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder or major depression. A majority of these individuals also have an addiction.

Medical debt is the leading cause of personal bankruptcy filings in the United States; more than 20% of Americans between 19 and 64 years old struggle to pay their medical bills.

An injury or illness can start out as a health condition, but quickly lead to job loss. Meanwhile, bills pile up, support networks weaken or subside and people end up sick, in debt and on the street.

If you’re sick, homelessness makes you sicker.

Imagine managing diabetes in shelters or on the streets: Where would you store your insulin and syringes? How would you eat healthy when you don’t know where or when you’ll get your next meal—and it’s pretty much guaranteed to be high-sugar, high-fat and starch-laden?

Individuals experiencing homelessness disproportionately exhibit the risk factors for hypertension: race, smoking, obesity, lack of exercise and lack of access to healthy food options.  …