When I searched for “free image woman begging” I saw mostly images of women of color, with many clearly in other countries.

Many white people like myself would rather die than beg.  My friend Leo was often “financially embarrassed”, as he used to say.  He got about $800/month in social security when he died from diarrhea in his camper with no running water and no electricity during a heatwave in July 2015 — because KRMC refused to admit him to the hospital.  They told me to take him to a homeless shelter instead of providing the medical care he needed:


I get $266/month or $3,192/year for social security.   I’m actively preparing for my death as I will run out of money soon, my inheritance disappeared fast.   Despite the many opportunities to earn income from home over the internet, I can’t take a job because my healthcare providers inflicted so much trauma and I can’t get anyone to diagnose my working memory failure when stressed and facing hard deadlines.

SUICIDE is the only option for the poor who don’t want to beg.

I asked what will happen to me when I can no longer support myself.  I tried to tell the doctors how important it was that my brain got fixed.  Instead of diagnosis and treatment, I got sent to the Loony Bin to be traumatized, abused, humiliated, and completely destroyed.

Exhibit 6, attached to my complaint in Mohave County superior court, is my letter to Mohave Mental Health.


Since I got NO help whatsoever, I sent my questions to Mohave Mental Health twice.

I received NO response.

Apparently, everybody agrees that we need to kill ourselves.   And that’s especially true for my defendants and their attorneys.  Right, attorney Kathleen Elder?

Attorney Elder is arguing that doctors don’t need to listen to their patients and that they don’t need to read their patients’ medical summaries.

She’s doing everything possible to get me to suffer a heart attack or stroke.   I’m allergic to lies and especially to lying lawyers.  They’ll do ANYTHING to “win”.

Attorney Elder has no mercy, no compassion, no empathy. 

Not for me, and not for the many millions of poor who suffer so much, wasting away with no medical care in their often moldy homes.  Mold can cause serious health issues and even dementia.  Roofing repairs aren’t in the poor people’s budget.

I estimate that at least 20% of the deaths in Mohave County homes classified as “natural causes” are actually suicides, mostly by opiates.  

At least another 50% die from suicide by “food” — the crap at the Family Dollar I will NEVER eat, and boredom.   It’s so sad.

‘True Cost of Aging’ Index Shows Many Seniors Can’t Afford Basic Necessities


… Each month, Seeley, a retired teacher, gets $925 from Social Security and a $287 disbursement from an individual retirement account. To make ends meet, she’s taken out a reverse mortgage on her Portland, Maine, home that yields $400 monthly.

So far, Seeley has been able to live on this income — about $19,300 a year — by carefully monitoring her spending and drawing on limited savings. But should her excellent health worsen or she need assistance at home, Seeley doesn’t know how she’d pay for those expenses.

More than half of older women living alone — 54% — are in a similarly precarious financial situation: either poor according to federal poverty standards or with incomes too low to pay for essential expenses. For single men, the share is lower but still surprising — 45%. …

The elder used to be admired and respected.

Now, they’re treated like trash.

  • No longer needed.
  • No longer productive.
  • No longer creating profits for the corporations (except Big Pharma and medical care)
  • A drain on the social security fund.
  • A drain on Medicare.
  • Entirely useless.

And that’s because most legislators and politicians are psychopaths lawyers.

They’re just like attorney Elder.  Only interested in $$$ for themselves, their families, and their friends.


I’m not delusional, am fully aware that I’m just one old and poor woman with brain damage with no power.  I can’t possibly make a difference.

I’m not going to beg, don’t have it in me.  But I’m not too embarrassed to demand the respect and healthcare everybody deserves.

I will fight until I can’t type anymore and/or until I can’t afford the internet anymore.

I’ll be loud, attorney Elder. 🙂

It really helps to write about what stresses and frustrates me.   Attorney Elder’s motion to dismiss and reply in support of her motion make my blood boil.   With a name like Elder, the irony.  Or something.

Unfortunately, I don’t have time to keep a journal, would be very therapeutic.