I’m finally working on my websites and posting here again since I recently got working internet service.   I paid about $250/month for various services but was lucky to get .2 Mbps download speeds.  Often pages wouldn’t even load.  It was impossible to set up websites and learn the new Divi Extra theme, purchased over a year ago.   I could write a book about my many failed attempts to get working internet.  The lies, the deceptions, the outright fraud …

My white privilege saved my ass once again as I received an inheritance last winter.

It’s very unlikely that I’d be alive today if I hadn’t received the badly needed cash.

Arizona governor Ducey not only withheld the federal unemployment benefits but even my $117 weekly Arizona benefits stopped in July when the state’s website failed to save my work searches and I was told an adjudicator would contact me.

Nobody contacted me.  Ducey and his kind ought to be prosecuted and imprisoned.

I’ve been taking so many supplements and learned so much this year and it’s time to get my websites back in shape after years of neglect.

I’m doing so much better, but stress still causes memory failure.

I’ve worked many 12-14 hr days again and since it cooled down I spent much of my time on upgrades, repairs, and maintenance at the vacation rental I manage.  Just had three bookings over the holidays and it’s a challenge to get back in the cleaning grove.

Paid a local $25/hr cash for two afternoons of help at the rental and with tires and he promptly stood me up.  Such a nice guy, never expected that.  I don’t understand people.

It’s all so stressful. Especially with three flat tires on the water hauler and truck, having to make multiple 60-mile trips to Kingman for tires and having to finish all the unfinished projects at the house while guests were scheduled to arrive soon.

So I did everything myself.  Lots of sanding, scrubbing, painting, cleaning, and cleaning and cleaning.  Thought I’d never get the dust out of the house.  Now my wrist is all messed up again, arthritis.

For several months I could not make any changes to my Airbnb listing, their support is downright evil. 

Nobody could be naturally as stupid as the Airbnb support people.  Internet forums are filled with other anonymous hosts’ Airbnb problems, but apparently, they’re afraid they’ll have their accounts closed, as happened to so many Airbnb hosts.

I opened an account with VRBO and while not perfect, their support is outstanding.  No holds, with qualified support always providing accurate info and resolving any issues.  So, obviously, it is possible to provide competent support and Airbnb chooses to make our lives so miserable.

I’m telling my guests that they should look at VRBO to save hundreds of dollars and I explain why I charge so much more at Airbnb.


The 2020 shutdowns and unemployment saved my life.

All bookings were canceled, I had money coming in and I got to destress.  Did a lot of work in my orchard garden and greenhouse.

But it is also very stressful to realize that Biden is just as dumb and corrupt as Trump and that the developed countries are pushing multiple vaccinations while the poor countries got such low vaccination rates.

Sadly, alt-right “stolen election” doctor Shiva is the only person I’m aware of who actually had a sensible plan and proposed it to Trump, who promptly ignored it.

Obviously, only people at high risk should have been vaccinated — worldwide, not just in the wealthy nations.  Positive people get treatment.  And then there’s prevention, strengthening the immune system.

So many opportunities were wasted.  Instead of creating a resilient healthy population, we have people clamoring for vaccines that clearly are not vaccines, but treatment PRIOR to getting sick.

The insanity.  The cruelty.  As of last week, it is estimated that 18 million people died due to Covid worldwide.

We have so many early treatment options like fluvoxamine and I admire Steve Kirsch for creating the Covid Early Treatment Fund and even organizing and financing a study.  One of the few wealthy with a brain and a conscience.

I’ve been following advice from functional doctors and found that I already was taking many of their recommended supplements like quercetin, Vit. D and NAC for my brain.

I don’t eat genetically modified food, why would I inject myself with completely untested and clearly not working genetically modified vaccines?

I’ve never taken a flu shot either. Had measles and had chickenpox twice.  I lived.  And unlike many who got shingles shots, I haven’t had shingles, despite the extraordinary stress.  It’s a miracle that I’m still alive.  Probably because of my diet and working outside a lot.

I wear a mask when I’m in stores, don’t want to kill any of the countless old and immunocompromised by giving them Covid.

Considering the average person’s inability to think logically (brain damage likely due to diet and environmental factors), I can’t blame them for failing to eat and live healthily. If I could only share my knowledge like Mr. Spock.

I’m glad to finally see many doctors questioning the safety of these multiple vaccinations. Too little, too late?


Meadview is dominated by Trump-loving Qanon types.  They’re unstoppable, the loud majority. Narcissists.

First, they destroyed our wonderful fire district, then they made the homeowner association completely private, preventing any community activities and support groups, and now our water co-op is going to go bankrupt unless we get money from the Biden infrastructure bill.

Everything the conservatives touch goes to shit.  They thrive on creating misery, disease, and death.

But my liberal friends aren’t far ahead.

Brain damage. It’s not their fault.

2021 was another shitty year.

While I still have a few bucks left from my inheritance, my brain still isn’t what it used to be and I have such a hard time learning web software and managing stress.

Am NOT looking forward to being poor again and there’s the constant worry about an injury or accident.  My vacation rental business, my farm, my pets …

I can’t survive on $256/month social security and food stamps.  It’s just not possible.


For several years I’ve been watching many health docuseries and I actually did very well, changed my diet in summer 2018, intermittent fasting, lost over 50 lbs, and had PERFECT blood pressure by Labor Day 2019 — while actively working on litigation and facing discovery deadlines.  PRESSURE, but I handled it perfectly.  I was super focused and in top shape.

Only a few weeks later, attorney Kaminski for Midland Funding (debt buyer / collector) destroyed my brain.

I had already appealed and overturned two federal judges in this case, so they were out of options and deliberately stressed me until my brain fried.

The Kingman North Country nurse diagnosed as ADHD.   On 1/29/20 I saw neurologist Dr. Ohri.  I told him that I’ve been in court since 2012 and the judge and opposing attorneys claimed that I had no “admissible” evidence documenting my brain problems.

Dr. Ohri had me taken to KRMC (Kingman hospital), apparently, because I admitted to being depressed during the intake questions and I obviously didn’t look happy when he declined my request for something to give to the court to stay the proceedings so my brain could recover for a few weeks.

At KRMC, I was interviewed online and when asked how I felt about suicide, I referred him to my 2018 draft suicide petition.

That imbecile did not read it and ordered me titled.   At KRMC I was injected with something that knocked me out and made me puke bile repeatedly as I hadn’t eaten anything all day.  I was transported in a police car to the loony bin.  One of the employees finally read my suicide petition and offered to attend the daily online interview with Chelsey, who also had refused to read it.

You should have seen her face when she finally DID read my suicide petition.   But instead of releasing me immediately, she decided to continue my incarceration because I have a medical marijuana card.

On day 4 I finally started to organize the inmates, held a workshop after breakfast to educate them on e. Coli and salmonella as staff refused to clean up the bathroom / shower that was flooded with shit by a frustrated patient   Apparently clogging the toilet with paper, shitting and then flushing is one of the ways the inmates could express their frustration.

After the workshop, I started to interview inmates who volunteered to share their stories.  I was taking notes with my weird loony bin safety pen and a few hours later I was shopping for real food.   I had barely eaten anything while incarcerated, almost everything had the most disgusting meat you can imagine.

The other inmates told me they had never seen anyone discharged that fast, and especially not on a Sunday.

I’ve been so traumatized, EVERY doctor visit is now MAJOR stress because I don’t know when I’ll get home again.   I have to make sure I look happy and you can never admit that you’re sad or depressed to avoid being sent to the loony bin.

In August I finally got an MRI and EEG and they called me to let me know that my brain is “fine.”  I’m NOT fine at all and this tremendously increased the stress.

No diagnosis, no treatment plan, NOTHING. 

Instead of helping me, they called the sheriff so they’d find my dead body in case I killed myself.  Bastards!


What little brains / energy I have is used up fighting phone and internet services, the usual daily business frustrations and of course, slave labor for doctors like neurologist More in Lake Havasu City who refuse to do their jobs and require that *** I *** arrange for KRMC to get the records to them.  Not to mention trying to get my records from the loony bin, it is all so incredibly frustrating, constantly being ignored.

I finally decided to make my medical records and research public for several reasons:

  • I have not been able to get any help from doctors. 

In fact, they’ve made my brain much worse with the stress they inflicted as they do everything possible to try to force their patients to commit suicide, refusing to help.

I don’t have the MONEY to go to specialists like the Amen clinics.  I’m on Arizona’s Obamacare and can not go to Las Vegas.  I’m only 2 hours from Las Vegas, but over 4 hours from Phoenix.   I also run a small organic farm, manage a vacation rental, have two dogs and nobody to back me up.  It’s very difficult for me to travel.

  • I’m overwhelmed by information, programs, courses, supplements …

So I’m spending countless hours reading, watching, and forgetting what I read and watched.   Hoping to post much of my research here so I don’t forget about it.

  • We need an American with Disabilities Act for the internet.  

It stresses me tremendously that I waste so much time at business and government websites, desperately searching for a sitemap, contact or other info.    We need to develop accessibility rules, just like having a special parking space for disabled people by a physical business front door.

Imagine what traffic would be like if there weren’t standardized signs and rules.  It’s especially offensive that huge commercial sites like Airbnb are increasingly using mobile themes for notebooks / desktops.  No menus.  Horrible layouts.  So much confusion and stress to find anything!  I charge $10/night more to Airbnb guests just because of the horrible Airbnb support and website.  Unfortunately, I can’t recover my “cost” at other sites.

Social Security, unemployment and many government offices REQUIRE online registration for services.  I went to the Kingman unemployment office for assistance and they told me that I could use one of their terminals and they would NOT assist.

While I have used computers since 1983, I really feel like I don’t want to do this anymore.  Everything is so stressful.  There are no rules.  Everybody rips you off.  From Verizon to Frontier Communications to Total Wireless … They all lied to me, defrauded me — with impunity!   I’m out of options for internet and now pay $129/month to a small company.

I sued Frontier and had to dismiss my case because their “terms” require arbitration.  Then I filed a complaint with the AZ AG who promptly did NOTHING.  Never even acknowledged receiving my complaint.  When Verizon lied to me and defrauded me, I just didn’t pay them anymore and gave up.

This is all so incredibly wrong.  These corporations get to prey on the old, the confused, the brain-damaged …   I used to make a living helping consumers fight these thugs.  20 years ago, companies still cared about their reputation.   Now, they could not possibly care less. Consumer rights legislation has been so weakened as the industry completely controls the government.

We need affordable and reliable internet access for all and we need RULES for government and commercial websites.   Functionality and SUPPORT.   Certain buttons like support, contact, about, etc. need to be the SAME shape and color and be located in the same place, just like signs on the road — at every government and commercial website.

You wouldn’t put a stop sign 500 ft before or after an intersection, paint it on the road, or put it on the left side, or make it green.  I hope!

  • Are there others with similar challenges? 

So many scams are targeting the most desperate, the old, sick, and poor.   I am so disappointed by the abuse of my data by online docuseries producers like Dr. Jockers.  His free classes about diabetes and keto were so informative.    Recently I found that he is determined to get even richer by marketing our emails to scammers of all sorts and affiliating with the worst of the worst.  Such as Jonathan Otto, an infamous marketer who taught how to make millions with docuseries by exploiting peoples’ emotions. “Make them cry!”

And then the clickbait.  I just got two emails in two days from scamming doctors with the subject confirming my order.  I hadn’t ordered anything.  These scammers will do anything for a buck!

I’m especially disappointed in Dr. Jockers because he is a doing the Christian thing.   What would Jesus say?

What a world we live in …

It would be nice to get some unbiased reviews of courses.  I just paid $500 for Ari Whitten’s Energy Blueprint course.  I’m so tempted to sign up for an 8-week course about hormones.  I know nothing about hormones and no doctor ever brought it up.

  • I’m throwing darts in the dark and don’t even have a target. 

There are many tests I should get, but I’m so confused and of course, have limited funds.  And no help whatsoever with figuring things out.

I’m taking so many supplements and have no idea whether they do anything.

I have no idea whether my cognitive abilities declined in the year I’ve been struggling with this.    After major stress, I can only work a few hours before I’m totally exhausted, mentally and physically.   Sometimes I slept 12 hours.   And is seems like every time I’m finally back to doing 12 hour days and I get hopeful, the next stress event happens and I have to start all over.

  • I forget so much

I went through some of my notes from shortly after I was in the loony bin and I actually had forgotten how cold it was for an entire day.   We were wrapped in these old blankets and they refused to turn up the heat.  Like in a refugee camp.   I didn’t think I’d ever forget that, but it wasn’t until I read it in my notes that I remember that cold day again.

Part of my blog will be a journal, the stress, the symptoms, … mostly to keep a record and they say it helps with processing the trauma.

Although often I just can’t get myself to write about it as it’s stressful again and I just want to forget.